Close Enough to Kiss
by some pierrot
Summary: Once volleyball's not on his mind, other things fall in to take its place. Things like Hinata Shouyou.
1. Chapter 1

**I felt like a new fic. :|**

**I have another KageHi fic in the works at the moment (Cold Hands), but this idea wiggled into my head and I'm running with it. I'll update both periodically. Sorry for those who were following Cold Hands, this is indeed why I haven't updated with ch4.**

**Pairing: Kageyama x Hinata**  
**Word Count: 2989**

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"A-are you guys alright?!"

"Holy crap."

"That looked so painful…"

There were voices, lots of them. Kageyama cracked open an eye and for a second the faces were one big mass. Then they began to separate, come into focus: Captain Sawamura, Sugawara, Asahi…even Tsukishima was hovering overhead.

"That was a bad collision, we should get you two checked out."

Two?

Finally Kageyama realized why he was unable to make his legs move. They weren't his.

He pushed himself up. The back of his head throbbed and he touched it gingerly, wincing when he felt a lump already beginning to form.

Hinata was being pulled off him with a whimper, just tangle of limbs.

"That looks sprained…Daichi, they should go to the infirmary." A gentle voice. Shimizu-sempai?

"Right. Asahi, Tsukishima, can you grab Kageyama?"

Kageyama was dimly aware of hands hoisting him up but his head was swimming and he couldn't even find it in him to protest. He let his eyes slip closed.

When they next opened, he was staring at fluorescent lights and a white-painted ceiling. For a long minute, he remained, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out where he was. Then it all came back to him.

The spike—he had gone up to block it. But out of the corner of his eye, he had seen Hinata chasing it down, trying desperately to keep it up in the air. They were going to collide, he could see it happening, so he had tried to change his landing. But instead, all he did was land so badly he felt himself _really _start to fall.

He sat up and was greeted by a chorus of upset bells in his head.

This time, the voice that came out of nowhere was rough. "Oh, you really shouldn't do that." Kageyama turned, squinting at the man in the white doctor's coat sitting just a few feet away. "Lie down, nice and easy, good. Stay there now, I want to talk to you."

Even if he didn't want to listen, Kageyama's body didn't obey. He sunk deep into the infirmary cot, squeezing his eyes shut to make the noises stop. Without protest, he accepted a cold compress and pressed it to his head.

"For one, you have a slight sprain. It shouldn't take long to heal, a week or two is all it'll take." Kageyama's eyes shot open, but there was a steady hand on his chest before he could even think of reacting. "It's for the best though, you really need to be off your feet. You fell quite hard and I wouldn't be surprised if you have a concussion."

Concussion. Kageyama associated that with crash car victims and brutal violence. Not falling during a volleyball match.

Taking the silence as acceptance, the doctor continued. "You're going to need to stay at home during this time. Rest, don't do anything strenuous. It's not as serious as it sounds, but assuming you want to continue playing volleyball it's for the best you play it safe. Do you understand?"

Kageyama was frozen. Did he understand? No, he didn't understand. No volleyball? For two weeks? Wasn't that just like asking him not to breathe? His stomach twisted and he felt sick. He didn't even reply for fear that the contents of his stomach would come out.

"Your mother could not be reached at this time—"

"She's at work," Kageyama supplied dumbly. Of course _now_ he found his voice.

"—Yes, but you'll need someone to wake you up every couple hours, just to be safe. Do you have anyone who can do this?"

Did he? No, of course not. His mother was the only one who took care of him, but she worked until so late at night, he couldn't ask her to sacrifice her sleep now too. He struggled to come up with a name—even a fake one—just to get this doctor to stop talking.

"I can do it."

They both turned at the sound of the new voice. Hinata stood in the open doorway, his expression unreadable. "I can do it," he repeated, hands fisting on the hem of his jersey.

"And you are?"

"Hinata Shouyou, I'm—" he searched for the words "—his friend."

The doctor stared from one to the next for a while, trying to make up his mind.

"P-please! I'm sure I can do it. It was my fault Kageyama got hurt anyway and I—" he seemed on the brink of tears. His expression was pinched, his nose turning faintly red. Kageyama just stared.

"Very well. I'll be counting on you to watch over him. Kageyama-kun," he turned to the boy on the narrow bed. "Here is some pain medication just in case. If you feel bad or anything, please make sure you go to your own doctor as soon as possible. Understand?"

Hinata replied for him. "I'll take good care of him, Sensei. Thank you." Kageyama nodded dumbly. For some reason, he was fixated on this solemn character, so different from the bubbly one he was most accustomed to. It was easier to watch and study, than to dwell on the fact that he had lost his ability to play volleyball. This wasn't the first time he had gotten hurt, nor the first time he had needed to sit out. Why was it bothering him so much?

"Kageyama?" Hinata was staring at him, holding up Kageyama's jacket.

"Huh? Oh, right." He slipped his arms into the sleeves, pulling it into place. When he swung his legs out of bed, he noticed one foot had already lost its shoe, wrapped up thickly in so many layers of bandages it looked like a tumor. Only now that he noticed did a dull throb pick up.

Add that to the list, he thought miserably.

Hinata was already waiting, posed comically to be a human crutch with an unsuitably grave emotion. Blinking, Kageyama hopped to his side, and let Hinata position his body: one arm around the smaller boy's shoulder, while one of Hinata's gripped Kageyama's waist. They barely made it out the door before Kageyama burst out laughing.

"Wh-what?!" Hinata blushed, startled.

Kageyama hopped away, leaning instead against the wall outside the infirmary. "You're so tiny. This will never work." He couldn't seem to stop laughing. He bit his lip, but his shoulders shook.

"What?! I'm not—" Abruptly he caught himself. He pressed the tips of his fingers together and bit his lip. "I—I don't know how I can help you. I'm…sorry."

Instead of making him feel better, the apology nestled deep inside him, soaking up his laughter and leaving his mouth dry. His lips pressed together in a firm line. "Stupid Hinata."

"W-what?"

"This is what happens, right? It's only normal."

"But! I did this to you! And now you can't play!"

"It's fine." It didn't feel that way. "Only two weeks."

Hinata didn't speak for a minute and Kageyama finally looked up at him. He blinked. Hinata's eyes were wet with unfallen tears, a frown creasing his face as he pressed his lips together to keep from crying.

He sniffed.

Kageyama reached out. His fingers dug into Hinata's shoulder and he pulled the smaller boy against him hard, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. He could feel himself start to slide down the wall, but he couldn't seem to move. This body wasn't his. If it were he certainly wouldn't be _hugging_ his biggest rival.

But it felt good. Soft orange hair tickled his chin. Tiny hands were pressed against his chest, fisted in his jacket. And it was warm. Hinata was warm and comforting and for some reason Kageyama had the feeling he was doing it for himself and not the other way around.

A faint wetness spread on the front of his shirt. Kageyama pushed Hinata away at arm's length. There on his chest. A damp spot. Well that was enough for the moment.

"Look," he cleared his throat, "you don't have to help me—"

"I am!" He nearly shouted and his voice echoed down the empty hall. Sniffing, he wiped his sleeve across his face. "I mean, I really want to, I do! And not just cause I'm feeling guilty, so you can't use that against me!"

Kageyama shut his mouth. Pushing himself back up the wall, he shifted to find his balance. And then, rubbing the back of his head absently—he winced at the lance of pain—he finally acquiesced. "Fine. But we need to find a better way to get home than this."

"Stop the bike. This isn't working."

This definitely had not been what Kageyama was expecting when he suggested a different mode of transport. Hinata pedaled swiftly, making the bike sway dangerously with every pump of his legs. Kageyama had his arms wrapped around the other's waist, he kept his eyes downcast so just in case they passed someone they knew.

Hinata laughed loudly. "What do you mean, this is much better!" He seemed to be enjoying himself, huffing and puffing great streams of cold air. At the very least, he didn't seem tired at all. Kageyama assumed that was thanks to daily rides to and from school. Over a mountain, one of the sempai had said. It was impressive, but Kageyama didn't quite feel like complimenting the boy at this moment.

In his arms—so different from the positioning a few minutes prior—Kageyama could finally see how tiny the orange-haired boy really was. His head pressed against Hinata's back, he had plenty of time to decide whether or not his hands would fit around Hinata's thin waist.

_They would_, he finally decided, marveling but not daring to check for himself. How could anyone be so small? That just made the current situation even more embarrassing.

"Put me down," he tried again.

Hinata simply grinned. "I told you I'd take care of you. I'm just doing my job!"

He went even faster then, forcing Kageyama to shut up or eat dirt.

They arrived at his house in record time. With some effort, Kageyama slid off the bike, catching himself on the wall and using it as a crutch to hobble to the front door. By the time he got there, his head was pounding and he had to take a small breather.

"Kageyama! Is something wrong?" Hinata was suddenly there, peering up at his face. He was so close, it startled him.

"N-nothing! Just needed to catch my breath." He fished in his bag for his keys and had only just unlocked the door when it dawned on him the situation. He stopped in the doorframe, frowning at Hinata. "What…what are you planning to do—I mean, how…how will this work."

"Oh." For once Hinata seemed abashed. "Well I was hoping you'd let me…stay over? Or you can come to my house, of course! But my sister is noisy and my parents would ask a lot of questions so I just thought…this might be better?"

"But what about your clothes?"

He brightened. "I have my uniform in my bag, I'll just run home tomorrow and get some stuff!"

"So you'll be here. Every day." Kageyama stared at him, not sure what to think. On one hand Hinata was staying over. On the other…Hinata was staying over.

Apparently his face expressed his uncertainty, because Hinata himself squeaked. "I-I know it's not ideal but I want to make sure you're okay! The doctor said you can go into a coma or something just as bad! Look I'm sorry, I don't know what else I can do to help." He was fidgeting under Kageyama's stare, unable to even meet his eye.

Finally, "Help me."

"Wh-what?" He looked up breathlessly, his eyes wide.

"Help me inside, stupid Hinata!" He turned away without actually waiting for Hinata's help, for some reason vastly relieved that there had been no tears this time around. As the door clicked shut behind him and he heart a murmured sorry for intruding, he pressed his lips together tightly.

His heart was starting to thump in his chest for reasons he didn't understand. Nervousness? Or perhaps this was just after-effects from his fall. Yeah, that had to be it. Sure it was his first sleepover, but he wasn't a child anymore. There was no reason to get so excited.

He wiped a smile off just in time, as Hinata ducked under Kageyama's arm and asked, "Which way to your room?"

Kageyama gestured up the stairs with his chin, his expression fixed in a scowl as usual. But this time Hinata didn't seem to care. "Uh, Kageyama, I don't think we can manage stairs."

Oh. Right.

He paused, one hand on the banister. "Living room then. There are mattresses in the closet, can you come?" He started off on his own and was caught offguard when Hinata's hand slipped into his.

He blinked. "Wh-what are you doing?"

Hinata didn't even bother looking. "What do you mean?"

Kageyama scowled at their conjoined hands, then back up at Hinata's face, but recognition still didn't dawn.

"Come on, I'll take you to the couch first. And then I'll get the mattress for you." He led the way and Kageyama helplessly followed. Even more aggravating, holding hands did make it easier. Their hips didn't bump with every step they took and he balanced better without a teetering Hinata under his arm. But from the point of contact, a warm flush crept up Kageyama's arm, making it difficult to concentrate on anything _but_ Hinata's fingers twined in his.

When they reached the living room, he dropped onto the ground with a sigh of relief that had as much to do with his aching leg and the fact he could finally let go of Hinata. He spoke gruffly, indicating the closet in the hallway. "There should be a couple pillows and blankets too."

Hinata hurried off and came back dragging two heavy futon mattresses. They were nearly as large as him and he nearly fell over when they did, just barely missing Kageyama's bad foot.

"Eep! My bad! Let me get the rest." He was gone, and then back in a few seconds, arms laden with a thick blanket and a couple hard pillows. Without asking, Hinata began to prepare the beds, unfolding the mattresses and airing out the sheets, tucking them in under the bed neatly. He moved with such smoothness for a second Kageyama wasn't sure it was the same person as the overly-energetic spiker he was so familiar with.

"I make my bed every day for my sister and I," he explained without prompting. Apparently Kageyama had been staring too intently. The dark-haired boy frowned even further, but Hinata seemed not to notice. "There, lie down now!" So saying, he gave Kageyama a solid push in the shoulders, enough to force him down. Hopping around, Hinata picked up an extra pillow and tucked it gingerly beneath Kageyama's bad foot, before setting about making his own bed.

After a bit of silence, Kageyama was the first to break the silence. "How old is your sister?"

"Seven." He huffed as he worked, hopping from one end of the bed to the next. "She's really annoying," but he laughed as he said it.

"Your parents?"

"How old are they? Who knows, they're old. Oh I should call them soon to let them know I'm staying over. Make sure you remind me. Okay! Done!" He rose, wiping his head as if he had just worked up a sweat. He had an extra pillow in his hands. "Here, you should use this one too. Doctors orders!" He turned, tangling the sheets around his foot, and the next part happened in seemingly slow motion.

At first, all Kageyama was aware of was Hinata's wide eyes—the softest brown. He didn't feel the bony arms or knees poking his stomach and ribs, too distracted with other things. But slowly, he noticed that his arm had somehow ended up around Hinata's waist; he found himself thinking again about how skinny the boy was—where did all those popsicles and meat buns go? Hinata's hands were on either side of Kageyama's head, but their faces were impossibly close. Close enough to kiss, really. And then he realized that the boy was blushing. _Blushing._

His eyes grew wide and for some godforsaken reason, _he_ started blushing too. He heard a thumping in his ears and he didn't even want to know whose heart that was.

Hinata was heavier than he looked. Or rather, not heavy. But substantial. And for some reason, Kageyama caught himself thinking _oh, this is rather nice_.

But as quickly as the thought came, Kageyama threw it out. "Get off," he said, and there was an edge to his voice.

"Oh, uh, yeah sorry." Hinata seemed oddly subdued as he extracted himself. Kageyama felt suddenly naked now, now that Hinata was far enough to see his red face. He stifled a groan, covering his cheeks with his hands. If anything, it had the opposite desired effect.

"Kageyama?! Are you alright? Did you hit your head? Or your foot? What's wrong?" He sounded so panicked Kageyama had to reply.

"I'm fine," he mumbled from between his fingers. "Just tired."

"Don't lie to me, stupid! This is serious!"

Yes, yes it really was.

He suddenly really hated this stupid sprained foot. He couldn't even roll over and pretend to sleep, which of course would have been his optimal pose at the moment. His embarrassment was making his body feel flush and his heart—he had found out whose heart it was after all—still refused to stop that awful thumping.

He knew what that meant.

"Kageyama?" Hinata refused to let the matter die.

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

Of course not. How could he be okay?

How could anything be okay, now?

He was in love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the lateness. I've been working on another KageHi story, called Cold Hands and whenever I even think about working on a chapter, I go back through and edit all of the ones I've already put up. Plus CETK intentionally has longer chapters and be a little more serious, so I'm trying to work hard. Anyway, here you guys go. Thank you for the positive feedback! It really means a lot.**

**Oh right. Heads up, some smut in this chapter, if that's what you're looking for. ;d**

**Word Count: 2310**

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"_T-Tobio…' He was looking at him with those eyes. _Those damn eyes. _Kageyama would do anything for those eyes. "I-I…" _

_He pulled back, watching the way Hinata's lips trembled, at the blush spreading over the boy's face. "What?" he asked, and Hinata just flushed a deeper red, hiding behind small fingers. Everything about him was small. He caught those fingers, pinning them between their bodies as Hinata squirmed in his lap._

"_K-k-" Hinata stumbled over his words and Kageyama waited, kissing the calluses, his palm, the tiny spaces where his fingers joined. He slipped his fingers in those spaces, marveling at how perfectly they fit together, Kageyama's long, spindly fingers, with Hinata's small hands. _

"_K-kiss me first." _

_Kageyama looked up, eyes dark under a fringe of hair. Hinata was staring back, his face still red, but with a set look about it. His lips were pressed together and he was trying so hard to keep it together, Kageyama could feel himself falling apart. He pulled the boy into his arms, took his face in his hands, and kissed his forehead, eyes…nose…cheeks…_

…_lips. _

_Hinata was tense a first, and Kageyama didn't even know if he was doing it properly. But then the smaller boy relaxed against him, letting his lips part ever so slightly and Kageyama was lost now. He pulled back, just a second, just to see the face Hinata was making. Eyes closed, mouth slightly open. _

_He could kiss this boy forever. _

_Hinata was trembling in his arms. Who knew the boy would be so embarrassed in this kind of situation? But even as Kageyama nipped at Hinata's lip, slender arms snaked up around him, getting messed up in his hair._

_He kissed him again and this time Hinata was willing and hungry, all lips and teeth and clumsy love._

_He pulled Hinata by the butt onto his lap and the boy didn't resist, kneeling on either side of Kageyama, lifting his chin so their kiss could go unbroken. And then, abruptly, Hinata pulled back, his eyes dark in a way Kageyama had never seen before. _

_There was a coiling somewhere in his stomach and he needed more. His hands traveled down Hinata's back, making the boy tremble and arch under his touch. His fingers pulled at the belt around the boy's waist and for a moment, Hinata's fingers touched Kageyama's. He paused with great effort. Their breathing was ragged, mingling in the lack of space between them. _

"_Shouyou," Kageyama whispered, lifting his head to look the boy in the eyes. _

_Hinata didn't answer, but after a second the hands were gone and Kageyama's fingers were undoing the belt. He pulled it out quickly, letting it clatter to the floor. His free hand was traveling up Hinata's stomach, lifting the hem of his shirt. Fingers splayed across his warm skin and without knowing why, Kageyama pressed a kiss to Hinata's navel. The boy trembled and hiccupped, fingers clutching the back of Kageyama's shirt. _

"_Cold," he murmured, shivering. _

_Kageyama's response did not sound like him, "Warm them up for me." _

_Hinata's skin was silk, hot and smooth and most importantly, it was his. Almost ferociously, he pulled off Hinata's jacket and then forced Hinata to remove his sweater, pulling anxiously at the fabric until it was lying discarded on the floor. He hugged himself, but Kageyama pulled his hands away. His fingers splayed across Hinata's back, pulling him closer, pressing him closer, as if he couldn't get enough. He pressed his lips along Hinata's ribs, counting them with his kisses. At each one, Hinata would shiver. _

"_Lie down." Kageyama almost didn't know whose voice that belonged to. It was low and rough, dark with lust. _

_Hinata complied, gazing up at Kageyama with eyes that glowed. He trembled, feeling naked and Kageyama found himself smiling. "T-Tobio, you're being mean." _

"_I'm not," he murmured, crawling up to hover over him. Underneath him, Hinata seemed even smaller than usual. Like a small bird to be treasured and protected. Kageyama bent his head to press his lips against Hinata's and he felt the boy relax into the kiss. Arms wrapped around his shoulders, keeping him in place. His teeth scraped against Hinata's and the boy moaned softly into his mouth._

_He didn't know where this possessiveness came from, why he felt an overwhelming urge to leave a mark. To make Hinata his. _

_He broke the kiss, ignoring Hinata's moan at the loss. He pressed his lips against Hinata's neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark this time, smiling into his skin as Hinata's moan turned into a whimper. He moved down, pressing chaste kisses on that soft skin until his hands thumbs were running over Hinata's stomach. He pressed one last kiss to Hinata's lips, before bending his head to Hinata's chest and flicking his tongue out to lick one pert nipple. _

_Hinata's head snapped back, his moan catching in his throat. Kageyama smirked. "Should I stop?" _

"_No!" Hinata flushed. "Do more," he murmured and Kageyama felt lust pool lower than his stomach. He was so hard it nearly hurt. His tongue flicked out again, and Hinata's reaction was less volatile, but still he trembled and arched into the touch. He ran his thumb over Hinata's other nipple, eliciting another choked moan. "More—"_

_He didn't need to be asked twice. He pulled back long enough to pull his own shirt over his head and throw it on the pile. His fingers fumbled on his belt and he cursed softly under his breath. Then there were hands pulling his gently away. Hinata was looking up at him, his eyes bright in the dark. "I want to do it," he said, and Kageyama complied, forcing himself not to touch, though every fumbling movement he made Kageyama want to just kiss him. _

_He drew the belt out so painfully slowly, Kageyama felt his breath hitch in his throat. It fell to the ground loudly and then warm hands were pushing down his waistband. He struggled out of his pants and underwear and bit back the hiss of relief at his cock's freedom. There was a second of nothing but breathing, and Kageyama was _dying_, but then Hinata's fingers were on him, shy and soft as sin. He shuddered, and pushed Hinata away, pushing him back down and tapping his hips. _

"_Your turn," he murmured, and Hinata complied, lifting his butt as Kageyama slipped first his shorts, then his underwear off, relishing the way Hinata blushed under his gaze. "I want to see," he whispered, pushing Hinata's legs apart. _

"_It's embarrassing." _

_Kageyama chose not to respond, but he got down on his elbows and waited for Hinata to open his eyes before he took the smaller boy into his mouth. "Ah—! Ah!" His hips bucked into Kageyama's mouth and moaned. _

"_It feels so good…Tobio…" Hinata had a hand pressed to his mouth, keeping his voice in. Kageyama pulled the hand away, and kept pulling, dragging him closer until Hinata's face, teary, red, a complete beautiful mess, was close enough to kiss._

He woke to darkness. He woke to an arm draped over his stomach and legs twined in his. He woke to warm breath on his neck.

He woke to Hinata.

He lay there a few seconds, trying to hold onto the feeling in his dream as long as he could, trying to pretend that the Hinata lying next to him was the one in the dream, the one who moaned at Kageyama's touch, the one who called him Tobio and asked for kisses. But the dream was already slipping away, wakefulness and reality seeping in to take its place.

His heart sank.

Was being in love supposed to be this horrible? Why did it _hurt_? Who would willingly fall in love if all you got was this pain in your chest? No not just that. His _bones_ ached, his head hurt, and now he felt like he was on the verge of crying. He sighed, softly, his muscles suddenly on fire. His crotch was uncomfortably hot, his foot was throbbing, and his neck was stiff. Still, he didn't want to move. He was especially aware of Hinata's skin on his and for some reason, even though Hinata had used Kageyama's shampoo to shower, there was a scent that was altogether different.

Hinata's smell…what was it? Orangey? Summery? Was that creepy to even think about?

Now he was hooked though, he wanted to know. He shifted ever so slightly, just far away enough for him to turn his head.

Hinata slept with his mouth open, breathing softly against Kageyama's sleeve. He had traversed the distance between their beds somehow, leaving the blankets behind. As Kageyama moved, Hinata mumbled and nuzzled closer in his sleep, brow furrowing for just a second before his expression grew peaceful again. In the soft moonlight streaming in through the living room sliding doors, Hinata glowed.

Hinata was beautiful.

Kageyama was disgusting.

He was so hard, his fingers ached to touch himself. Every part of his body ached with a need he hadn't known he possessed, but he tried to fight it. Hinata's sleeping face, even the little shine of drool in the corner of his lips was so perfectly peaceful.

He clenched his fist until his nails were digging into his palm, trying to will himself to calm down. He tore his eyes away, squeezing them shut.

Only…when he shut his eyes, his dreams came rushing back.

"_Don't stop."_

"_Touch me." _

"_Tobio." _

He sat up, ignoring Hinata's grumble and snort, too hot and bothered to even consider niceties at this point. With some effort, he extracted himself from the tangle of limbs, picking himself up with the couch as support. His erection and his sprained foot did not make it any easier, but he hobbled to the bathroom as quickly as he dared, trying not to make any noise.

He shut the door behind him with a click, shaking with relief and lack of it. He sat on the lowered toilet seat, yanked down his shorts and almost whimpered as he wrapped a hand around himself.

"_Tobio." _

'Mmphf." He bit his lip, trying to muffle the noises he was making. He ran his hands up his length, imagining it was Hinata's small fingers instead. He rubbed a finger over the slit, imagining that had been Hinata's tongue instead. He moaned, lowly, knowing it was Hinata making him feel this way and hating himself for it.

But still, when he came, he shuddered and saw stars behind his eyes for just a second. He didn't dare say the name that had been on the tip of his tongue aloud; that would be giving a name to the feelings he still didn't want to acknowledge.

But he looked at the sticky mess on his fingers, face flushing.

Either way, name or no name, he was disgusting.

He pulled toilet paper from the roll, trying to clean himself up. His hands were shaking, both from the violence of his orgasm and the truth of what he'd done.

And then, there was a rap on the door and a sleepy voice calling his name. "Kageyama? Are you okay? You were making a lot of noise—"

"I'm fine." He winced at the brokenness in his voice. He didn't sound fine, he wasn't fooling anyone.

Hinata paused and Kageyama, for one fleeting second, entertained the thought of him pushing open the door.

_Catch me. _He thought. _Kill my feelings before they start._

But Hinata didn't, and Kageyama was somehow relieved. "Huh, okay then." Kageyama heard him yawn, heard a shuffle of footsteps outside the door, and he began to breath again. He gathered up his mess, throwing the paper in the toilet and flushing away all evidence. He washed his hands, elbows on the counter, and surveyed himself in the mirror for just a second.

His eyes were dark and shadowed. His face still red.

Hands still wet, he splashed his face with water. Then he turned, dried his hands and face off with the towel and opened the door.

Hinata stood there, looking tinier than ever in one of Kageyama's old sweaters. "Y'okay?" He mumbled, rubbing an eye against the light.

Kageyama was suddenly grateful for the bathroom light behind him, making his face hard to see. "Sorry, you can go now." He tried to shuffle aside to clear the door.

Hinata grinned, eyes still squinted shut. "Baka-yama, I was waiting for you." He held out a hand and after a moment's hesitation, Kageyama took it. He turned off the lights, throwing everything in darkness, but Hinata led the way their hands conjoined on his shoulder, Kageyama hopping awkwardly along behind.

Hinata put him to bed again, propping up his foot on the pillow and pulling the blankets up to his chin. He patted Kageyama's chest, yawning absently again, as he scooted over to his side and kicked the covers into place. And then he was asleep, no goodnight, no nothing.

He snored softly. Kageyama listened to him breath, let the sound fill the entire room until he found his breathing matching Hinata's. His hand still tingled where Hinata had touched it. His head still rang with the sound of his name.

He was so in love it wasn't even funny.

He groaned. Softly he had thought, but Hinata mumbled something in his sleep and rolled over until their legs were intertwined and his arm was draped over Kageyama's stomach.

"Dumbass Hinata," he whispered, but he didn't move.

Just tonight. Just tonight, he would be weak and disgusting and despicable. He would give in to the part of him that wanted nothing more than to touch Hinata and make him his. He would pretend for a second that Hinata loved him back.

Just tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

**i've wanted to put up this chapter for a while but dammmnnnnnn son, so much shit got in the way. floss your teeth kids, going to the dentist to fill cavities fucking sucks. also say no to family excursions. just...just say no.**

**anyway that's boring stuff. pls enjoy. **

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It was the morning light that woke him this time, shining in his eyes. That was a new sensation. He was usually up before the sun was. Normally at this point he'd roll out of bed, go for a run, and then shower in time for breakfast. Had his alarm not gone off?

He sat up, fumbling around for his alarm clock, but his arm resisted, stiff and sore and for some reason pinned down. He lay still for another minute, and then, with great effort of will, opened his eyes to see what was wrong.

A fluffy orange head greeted him, Hinata clinging to Kageyama's arm as if it were his lifeline, curled up under a mound of blanket. Kageyama's blanket. Hinata was under Kageyama's blanket.

For a minute, Kageyama didn't care. He rolled onto his side, curling towards Hinata, pulling the blankets up to his shoulders. The mornings were cold and Hinata was warm. If only they could stay like this…

His eyes flew open.

Memories of last night came floating back. In the sunshine they felt muted and less intense, yet they still brought a flush of color to Kageyama's cheeks and he covered his face with a hand, trying to force those thoughts back down. He pressed his fingers against his lips, trying to keep from breathing too loudly in their small space.

Then, glancing at Hinata again, he gave his arm a few firm shakes, stubbornly trying to dislodge the boy.

A frown marred Hinata's sleeping face.

Kageyama shook harder.

Hinata mewled in his sleep, rolling over and stretching out.

Kageyama batted Hinata's arm away before it hit him in the face. At that, Hinata's eyes finally opened though they were dazed and unfocused. He wriggled closer, shivering against the cold. "Good morning," he smiled peacefully, and began to burrow back into the blankets, his eyes already starting to slip closed.

"Hey, wake up already," his voice a soft grumble. He used his free arm to ruffle Hinata's hair, but abruptly stopped; he could feel an addiction starting before it happened. He bit his lip and gave Hinata a soft knock between the eyes with his fingers.

Hinata's brow furrowed and he grimaced, but after a few seconds he finally forced his eyes open. They stared at the ceiling aimlessly, roving slowly, slowly…and landing on Kageyama right beside him.

He shot upright, face turning red. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"…my arm hurts." He sat up slowly, rolling his arm to bring the feeling back slowly.

"I'm sorry!" Hinata hopped into seiza position, hands clasped above his head. "I'm sorry! I always do that in my sleep—I can't believe it—you're the injured one and I hurt you again."

Kageyama scratched his cheek and yawned as he spoke, "It's just my arm, dumbass."

"I know but still…" he pouted for a second, then brightened. "Oh! But at least you don't have a coma!"

"Huh?"

"That's why I'm here, to make sure you don't go into a coma. So I wake you up every few hours—"

"Which you didn't."

"Well…if you have to be technical about it…"

Kageyama rolled his eyes, gingerly touching the back of his head. The bump had gone down but it was still tender to the touch. "What time is it?"

"Um, nearly seven," Hinata read the clock on the wall and then scrambled to help as Kageyama tried to stand up. Kageyama braced himself on the smaller boy's shoulder, struggling for a minute to regain his balance. While he wouldn't say it out loud, he was grateful Hinata was there.

When he was upright, he breathed a sigh of relief and stretched his back awkwardly. He must not have moved the entire night—everything was stiff. He began hobbling to the bathroom, grumpily waving Hinata away when he tried to help. He had made it last night, he could do it again.

It was only in the sanctity of the bathroom that he allowed himself to think about the night before. He glared at himself in the mirror as if that would keep the blush from spreading.

It didn't.

But by the time Kageyama got out of the bathroom, his face washed and his teeth brushed, the blush was nonexistent. Hinata had been busy in the time he was gone, folding up the bedding and pushing it into a pile in the corner of the living room. He was struggling moving the couch back into place, but solemnly refused all help from Kageyama with a blunt, "I don't need help from a cripple."

He got a punch for that.

Seating himself at the kitchen table, he waited for Hinata to finish. He watched the boy as he worked. '_Only tonight_,' he had told himself, and the weight of the hours between then and now was impossible to ignore. But why did the feelings still persist? He caught himself staring and he covered his eyes, trying desperately to erase the visions of Hinata from the night before.

"Tobio?"

He snapped upright, twisting in his chair. "Kaa-san!" His mother was standing in the kitchen doorway, sleeping robe wrapped tightly around her waist. "What are you doing home? Don't you have work?"

"Hush, how are you feeling?" She stepped closer, taking his face in her hands and searching his face worriedly. "I came home as soon as I received the message but you were already asleep. And that boy—?

He pulled away from her hands. "A…friend." The lewd images of Hinata kept playing in his mind's eye; he felt like if she looked too closely she'd be able to read his thoughts. "I'm fine though, it's just a sprain the doctor."

"Kageyama, I'm done—oh! Is this your mother? Hello! I'm Hinata Shouyou!"

Kageyama was almost relieved to have Hinata appear. His mother seemed caught offguard and she hastily smoothed her hair down before shaking his proffered hand. "Kageyama's mother," she replied hesitantly, giving her son a brief glance. "Tobio hasn't mentioned you before. Are you in the same class?"

"He hasn't? Well, I'm not surprised really." Hinata laughed, far too loudly considering they just woke up. "We play volleyball together! I'm a wing spiker!"

"Oh? Tobio, I thought spikers were the ones who have to reach over the net—" Her eyes widened and she pressed a hand to her lips. Hinata pretended not to have noticed, but it was obvious he had. His smile was stiff and his eyes stared into space. Kageyama bit back his urge to laugh. His mother hurried to make amends, "Not that you're short! I mean, I'm sure you're very good if you play with Tobio!"

Hinata smiled, though there was a mechanical quality to it. "Y-yes…Kageyama is very good."

"Oh shoot," his mother stamped her foot. "That's not what I meant at all." She turned to her son and gave him a smack on the head. "What are you smiling about—Oh! That's where you got hurt isn't it? Goodness!"

"It's okay," he muttered, rubbing the back of his head.

At that, his mother sighed deeply, covering her face with her hands. For a moment she was silent, though they could hear her breathing behind her fingers. When she removed them, she set her shoulders and stuck out a hand. "Let's try this again, shall we? Hinata-kun?"

Hinata hopped to attention, shaking her hand vigorously.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for always taking care of my son."

"Oh no—I mean—it was partly my fault and so—"

"Oh I don't mean just the sprained foot. I don't doubt that was all his fault anyway. More importantly, if you're Tobio's friend then you're always welcome here. He doesn't have many of friends, after all." Hinata stifled a laugh. "Anyway, I don't have work, so let me make breakfast. What would you boys like?"

"Tamago-kake gohan!" Hinata was quick to answer, his eyes shining.

His mother on the other hand, seemed somewhat disappointed. "Oh, that's all?" she asked, crestfallen. "Well, I suppose that's easy enough. Let me make the rice while you two get ready."

Kageyama was all too eager to leave the room. "Oi, Hinata," he called over his shoulder as he hopped his way out. In a flash, Hinata was at his side, looking at him expectantly. "My room," Kageyama offered, and Hinata nodded, yanking Kageyama's free hand around his shoulder.

"Let's go, let's go."

They made their way up the stairs more due to Kageyama's effort than by any significant contribution from Hinata. By the time they made it to the top, Kageyama was sweating.

Hinata seemed less bothered. "You need more training, huh?"

"Shut up," Kageyama snapped, but it was true he was breathing hard and his good leg was trembling from the effort.

They took a break at the top, Hinata clinging onto Kageyama's shirt so he didn't go toppling down the stairs. Even when he was already better, Kageyama waited a few extra seconds, treasuring the feeling. Then, gruffly, "Alright, let go already."

He led the way to his bedroom, pushing open the door and dragging himself in.

"Sorry for intruding!" Hinata singsonged behind him, before stopping short. His jaw dropped. "So big!"

"Huh." Kageyama tried to look around his room more critically. His bed was against the wall, right underneath the window. His desk, a bookshelf, a tv sat in the corner. "Normal, isn't it?"

"No, this is huge! Look at your bed!" Without asking, Hinata threw himself onto it. "Look this is big enough for two people!"

_Me and you,_ his brain helpfully supplied. Kageyama chose not to reply, hopping over to his closet instead and disappearing inside. He found a pair of slacks and a fresh shirt and he changed as quickly as he could, stumbling around in the narrow space with only one good leg to stand on. By the time he appeared again, he was redfaced and dying to sit down, but seeing Hinata made him stop short.

"What the hell are you doing."

Hinata jumped, caught in the act. He was rummaging through the long, flat containers under Kageyama's bed, opening one at a time and sifting through the contents. "Umm…looking for your ero mags?"

"E-ero mags?!" Kageyama nearly forgot his foot was injured. He moved so quickly he practically flew, punching Hinata hard enough to send the boy sprawling on the bed.

Hinata was unperturbed. He bounced upright, grinning devilishly. "It's okay, Kageyama, I know you have them. Oh? Under your mattress?" He shuffled over, sticking his hands into the narrow crevasse between the wall and bed.

"Stop that!" Kageyama climbed onto the bed himself, grabbing Hinata's arm and wrenching it back up.

"There's nothing wrong with it! Oh! Under your pillow?"

Kageyama fought him back before he could move, pinning his arms above his head. Hinata was laughing, struggling wildly. Kageyama grit his teeth, "I guess you don't want me to toss to you anymore then, huh?"

At that, Hinata abruptly went still. "No! That's not fair!" He bit his lip, "I like your tosses the best!"

"Hah?" He didn't notice when his smirk slipped right off his face.

Hinata looked so distraught. "I mean, even if someone tosses to me, it's not the same. It has to be Kageyama." He squirmed under Kageyama's grasp and for the first time, Kageyama realized what he was doing.

Hinata lay beneath him, arms pinned at his sides. His legs were on either side of Hinata's hips and their faces were _this_ close.

"Kageyama?"

He blinked, suddenly staring into large brown eyes. He imagined those eyes teary, imagined them dark with lust, imagined them the way they had been in his dream. Suddenly, he couldn't find his voice. His throat felt dry and his lips itched. He watched Hinata's mouth move though he heard no sound come out, too busy imagining what they would taste like, what it would feel like to have Hinata's lips against his.

"Shouyou…" Someone spoke and Hinata froze. Kageyama repeated himself, caught in a daze. It tasted so good on his tongue, he could have said it forever. "Shouyou."

"Wh-what are you doing, Baka-yama?" Hinata tried to pull his arms out of Kageyama's grasp but it was half-hearted and weak. Kageyama didn't even notice.

"That's your name." He was enraptured. There was a quivering pulse in Hinata's throat and it had quickened every time Kageyama said his name.

"I know my name! Stupid! What the hell are you doing?"

What was he doing? Some part of him understood this was crossing a line. Another part of him—a greater part of him perhaps—didn't care. He released one of Hinata's hands and the boy flinched under him, shutting his eyes. Expecting a blow? Kageyama hesitated just one second, before he ran his fingers through Hinata's hair. It was so soft it tickled his fingers.

And then suddenly, he was being shoved back, one hand on his chest. "Kageyama! Get off me!" He was too surprised to fight back. He fell onto his butt and Hinata was up in a flash, crawling off the bed and standing there, just out of reach.

Kageyama's eyes went wide. His hand still tingled where he had touched Hinata, but even worse, he could still feel the imprint of a hand on his chest, where Hinata had pushed him away.

Hinata clenched the belly of his shirt. "You—you…" words seemed to fail him. "What the hell were you doing?" He tried to put anger into his voice but he couldn't, faltering over each syllable.

"That was—" and here, words failed Kageyama as well. He had gotten carried away, had done something irreparable to the already fragile thing they called a relationship. Suddenly the thought of losing Hinata was a thousand times worse than anything he could imagine. Being hated was too frightening. Hinata was staring at him, face flushed, waiting for an answer. Kageyama had none—nothing that would work.

He stared back, trying to come up with something that did not have the words "I", "like", "you" in any way, shape, or form. But every time he started to say something, he irrevocably came back to it, always in that order.

Hinata seemed fragile. He hugged himself, his expression pinched. Was he going to cry? Kageyama had seen him too close to tears too many times recently to let that happen again. He stood up, and Hinata sniffed in surprise, flinching away.

That hurt too, but Kageyama ignored it. "It was nothing—" he began, then started again after taking a deep breath, "Punishment for the e-e-…magazine thing." He knew that around here, he was supposed to laugh it off, but nothing came.

For what seemed an eternity, Hinata was silent, regarding him with those soft, brown eyes. And then, blessedly, he gave a tiny smile that rang ever so faintly of mischievousness. "Then you'll still toss to me?"

This time, the words came to him naturally and he said it without thinking, "I promised you I'd make you unbeatable."

At that, Hinata grinned and Kageyama felt his heart twist painfully in his chest. The next words formed themselves on his tongue and spilled out before he knew it. "I think I like you."

By the blush that crept up Hinata's cheeks, by the look of complete and abject horror on his face, and by the silence that greeted his statement, Kageyama figured out one thing: that was not the right thing to say.


	4. Chapter 4

**OH YEAH I NEARLY FORGOT.**

**FUCKING HELL MAN. I TOTALLY MISSED KAGEHI DAY. here's a gay chapter to make up for it.**

**PRAISE ME. GO ON. DO IT.**

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Hinata wouldn't look at him. Kageyama didn't know what to do. Well, he knew now that saying it aloud had been a bad idea, but at the same time, hearing it aloud felt terribly right. He didn't regret it.

Which was why he didn't know what to say. He could apologize, but the feelings were there and though they were short-lived, didn't that make them valid? And of course, taking them back was not an option.

But Hinata wouldn't look at him, and that hurt a lot.

It came as almost a relief then, when he heard his mother calling from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah, coming," he called back, and Hinata did that flinching thing again at the sound of his voice. Kageyama tried not to let it bother him. He grabbed his desk for support, avoiding touching Hinata again. "Let's go," he said more quietly, hopping his way to the door.

"Uh, Kageyama…?"

He paused, one hand on the door, twisting to look back at Hinata. "What?"

Hinata opened his mouth and for a second, Kageyama's heart stopped. Was he going to get an answer? Then, Hinata shook his head and smiled tremulously. "Nope, nevermind. Let's go." He caught up to Kageyama and supported him to the stairs.

There, Kageyama shook him off, clinging to the banister instead. Going downstairs was far easier and he managed without much trouble. He led the way back to the kitchen again, almost thankful that his sprained ankle took up most of his attention. When they got there, his mother had already set out two bowls of rice, a tray of eggs standing by. They sat side by side, Kageyama taking extra care not to bump elbows.

Hinata on the other hand seemed fine. He cheered up instantly at the sight of food. "Itadakimasu!" He cracked an egg on top, drizzling it in shoyu and then mixing it vigorously.

"I put your clothes in the laundry before I went to bed, it should be done by now."

"Oh! Thank you!" Hinata stopped eating long enough to speak with his mouth full and Kageyama's mother bit back a laugh as she left the room. She returned a few minutes later, a load of fresh clothes in her arms. Kageyama's blazer, she left on the back of his chair, but Hinata's she delivered neatly folded and clean. "Shouyou-chan, you can change when you're done eating. Just leave your dishes in the sink when you're done, alright? I'm going to get dressed. Call me if you need anything, I'll have my phone on. Tobio, watch the time."

Kageyama nodded, his mouth full. He tilted his chin as she pressed a kiss to his cheek, and after a moment's hesitation, she gave Hinata a kiss on the top of his head. "Thank you for taking good care of Tobio."

Hinata shook his head and tried to speak, but his mouth was full and a blush was spreading across his cheeks.

"How are you getting to school?"

"Aihafaihaike."

"Come again?"

Kageyama translated, "I have my bike, he said."

"Oh. Ohh. Shouyou-chan, you can ride with Tobio on the back?"

Hinata beamed with a full mouth, nodding vigorously.

"Well thank you then. I'll leave him in your care." She smiled and left, ruffling Kageyama's hair as she passed.

After a moment, Hinata swallowed thickly and then gasped, "Bakayama, your mom's so nice."

"Hnn," came the half-hearted reply.

Hinata snickered, "How come you're such a gorilla when she's so nice?"

Kageyama gave him a kick under the table with his good foot. Hinata cackled as he dodged, bouncing off his chair. He took his dishes to the sink, running the water and then drying his hands on his clothes. He shuffled around Kageyama's chair, picking up the stack of clothes and taking them to the bathroom.

By the time the smaller boy returned, he had finished and washed the dishes as well, drying his hands on a dish towel and leaving them to dry on the rack. He had changed and washed his face, water droplets clung to his hair, plastering them to his skin. Kageyama tried not to stare. It was a test, that's all.

He exhaled sharply through his nose, refusing to give in.

"What should I do with this stuff?" He hefted the clothes he had borrowed, already folded up.

Kageyama shrugged, "It's fine. Just leave it by the bathroom."

"Are you sure? I can take it home and wash it and return it to you tomorrow."

"Why? You're using it tonight aren't you?"

"Huh?" Hinata stared.

"Huh?" Kageyama stared right back.

His mouth opened and closed a few times, until finally, he asked, "But is that okay?"

"Is what okay? You said you were going to take care of me, didn't you?" Kageyama frowned, confused. Hadn't Hinata said that?

"I…I see…" He thought for a second, then raised his brown eyes searchingly, "Isn't your mom going to be here?"

"Dunno." A part of him hoped not. He shrugged on his coat and tossed Hinata his.

"I see…"

"So what, are you staying or not? It's not like you were totally useless last night, so if you want you can—"

A pause. And then, "…I want to stay."

"Okay then. It's Friday, right? So there's no school tomorrow. You can go home after school today and get whatever you need."

There was a noise of assent and Kageyama nodded, satisfied. More than satisfied, really. He could hardly stop himself from smiling at the thought of Hinata sleeping over one more night.

He zipped up his jacket and swung his bag over his head, shouting a goodbye to his mother before he left. Outside it was cold. Hinata sneezed as he unlocked his bike and rolled it out to the street. He hopped on, and then patted the metal bars behind him for Kageyama. Getting on was easier this time, now that he knew how to do it. Still yet though, it wasn't until they were moving could he really relax, not constantly kicking off the ground to keep the bike upright. Hinata hummed as he pedaled and Kageyama sat in silence, sinking low into his scarf to avoid being recognized, just as he had the night before.

"—yama hey—"

He shifted, bending forward a little to hear what Hinata said. The wind was rushing in his ears and Hinata's bike was so old and rickety it made unhappy noises every time they hit a rock. "What?"

Hinata spoke a little louder, speaking over his shoulder. "I said, you know when you told me earlier you liked me?"

Oh. _Ohhhhh. _Kageyama's breath hitched in his throat. How could he forget?

"Well, you seemed kind of angry when I didn't respond. To be honest I kind of misunderstood at first." He laughed and the bike swayed dangerously. "For a second, I thought you meant _like_ like, but then I got what you meant. Shut up, it's already embarrassing." He continued without waiting for a response. "I like Kageyama too though. I mean—! I mean, I know I'm not that good at volleyball but when I play with you it's so much fun! I love volleyball more than anything and I can actually play because Kageyama is there, even if I'm sh-sho-shor—not done growing yet—so I mean I really glad I met you, even though you're always grumpy. And you always beat me up. And you shout at me a lot too! Hey, you know, you're really mean to me!" He spoke as if he realized it for the very first time. Perhaps he had.

Kageyama could see the tips of Hinata's ears turning red. He wanted to see Hinata's face, to see the expression the other boy was wearing. But at the same time, he was glad they were riding. He was glad Hinata couldn't see the expression on his face. And a part of him was also glad that Hinata had misunderstood.

"Kageyama, say something! I just said really embarrassing stuff!" He shook the handlebars and Kageyama yelped, clinging onto the bars underneath him to stay balanced.

"Stop that! Stupid Hinata! Are you trying to break my neck?"

"Well say something!" He was staring hard over his shoulder and Kageyama shoved his face back forwards.

"What is there to say, stupid idiot?"

Kageyama could almost hear the grin on Hinata's face when the boy replied, "That's true, you already said you like me." He snickered and the bike wobbled again.

He decided not to punch Hinata in the side. He'd save that for later, when his feet—or foot—were back on solid ground.

"Kageyama likes me~ I'm gonna tell Suga-san you said that, he's gonna be real proud of you, I bet. 'Kageyama-kun is growing up!' He echoed Sugawara-senpai's soft voice and for some reason, Kageyama didn't feel inclined to stop him. There was an unfamiliar lightness spreading through his chest that made him nearly breathless, and it spread a little bit further every time he heard Hinata say his name.

Perhaps it wasn't so bad to stay like this, to stay by Hinata's side and love him secretly. To spend their time like this and just let his feelings fade. That probably was the smarter course of action. They were both guys after all; what more could he really hope for?

_Fine,_ he promised himself, _no more getting carried away_. He listened to Hinata talk and it filled him with a fragile sort of peace, tempered by a quiet ache that settled inside. He exhaled softly, burrowing deeper into his scarf.

* * *

As it turned out, watching volleyball was not the same as playing it. Kageyama leaned forward as he sat, every fiber of his being aching to stand on the court like the rest of them. Instead though, he was stuck here, right beside Kiyoko-senpai and the small blonde one, two metal crutches leaning against his knees.

Even his attempts at chasing down balls had proven useless; Yachi was faster than he was and could actually toss the balls back without falling over. So instead, there he was, a dark cloud of misery hanging over his head as he listened to his teammates shout and play.

The only advantage—and even this hardly counted—was that they were all too busy in their own little world to notice him watching and feeling sorry for himself.

"So Kageyama, see how Sugawara is doing it? Asahi is able to throw off the blockers cause he knows what the plan is—"

He slowly tuned Coach Ukai out, eyes drawn instead to Hinata. When he tossed to Hinata in their matches, he knew the boy could jump, but from afar, from the opposite side of the net, it really looked like he flew. One second he was at the left, the next he was already in the air, eyes focused on a point beyond the wall of the blockers, expression so intense it gave Kageyama chills.

"—hey, are you listening?"

He gave a feeble response to the coach, expression pinched. Hinata had missed another one of Suga-senpai's tosses and the frustration on his face was readable even from here.

Ukai followed his gaze and sighed. "I guess Hinata is too used to your tosses. I guess we'll just have to practice with Sugawara to make up for it."

That was too much. Kageyama stood up, adjusting the crutches under his arms.

"Oi, Kageyama, where you going?"

"I'm sorry. I need some air." He made his way out quickly, not meeting anyone's eye.

Only when he could no longer hear the squeaking of shoes and the slam of balls hitting the court did he stop, leaning against the wall. It shouldn't feel so horrible. It wasn't as if he would never play again. He told himself that, but it hardly made a difference. It was really no different from that moment a year ago, when the coach had taken him off the court and his team turned their backs on him.

It was supposed to be different, but why did it still feel so bad?

He grit his teeth and just in time, second-guessed himself before he kicked the water fountain with his gimp leg. Instead, he groaned aloud, a weak, pathetic sound that didn't feel as good as kicking something would have.

He was so busy feeling sorry for himself that he didn't notice the person approaching behind him.

"Kageyama-kun?"

He glanced up, glowering.

The girl leaped back, startled. "Um—! I'm sorry! I just thought that was you—I didn't mean to bother—I'm sorry!" She backtracked, ready to beat a hasty escape.

Kageyama made no move to stop her, but his expression let up just a little bit and she seemed to take that as permission enough.

"Well," she began again, fidgeting now. Her hands played with the hem of her skirt and absently, Kageyama wondered if all tiny people did that, because Hinata did too, all the time. She was blushing too, and Kageyama wondered if that's how Hinata would look, all shy and embarrassed. She played with a strand of hair, tucking it and untucking it behind her ear, over and over again. Kageyama decided no, Hinata wouldn't do that. "I—oh no, this was so sudden—you have practice and I—oh what am I doing?"

"What _are_ you doing?"

That made her flinch and for a moment she looked close to tears. But then, she gathered herself and said in a shy, sweet voice, "I…I actually have always really liked you, Kageyama-kun."

"Huh." He leaned on his crutches, taking the weight off his only leg. At this point, he would normally reject the girl, quoting his usual phrase: I'm sorry, I don't really have time for dating. But this time, something made him stop and reconsider. Was this how Hinata felt when Kageyama had said the same this morning? "Why?"

"W-why? Umm," she tucked the strand of hair behind her ear more frantically. The corner of Kageyama's lip twitched downward. "I always thought Kageyama-kun is very cool and handsome, especially when you play volleyball."

"Am I?" The thought had never occurred to him.

"Y-yes!" She seemed emboldened by his interest. "I fell in love when I saw your smile; the Kageyama-kun in class always seems so cool and uninterested—I like your smiling self a lot too!"

Kageyama made a humming noise in the back of his throat, mulling over her words. Was it really that attractive? "My smiling self," he echoed, and she nodded vigorously.

"Kageyama-kun, do you have a—a girlfriend?"

Kageyama shook his head absently, missing the look that crossed her face.

"Then…could it be—would you go out with me?" She was leaning a little closer, but Kageyama didn't notice, looking beyond her at the corner of the building.

He blinked at the spot, certain of what he saw. But then, recalling what he was doing, he straightened up, gripping the crutches. "Sorry, I don't have time for that kind of thing."

He didn't see her face fall, didn't see the way she shrunk back as if burned. He had learned it was best not to stick around, not after the rejection. So he didn't, hobbling away on his crutches towards the side of the building.

"What are you doing, moron?"

Hinata kept his eyes on the ground, looking as if he wanted to disappear. "Well…we noticed you weren't there so I came to look for you and then I saw Nishimiya-san confess—confess—confessing to you and I tried not to overhear but she's really popular and I got a little carried away and well, I was curious to see what you'd say—"

Kageyama had to squeeze his cheeks together to make him stop. "You were curious, huh?"

Hinata shook his head violently. "Did I say that? That's not what I meant at all—"

"Why were you curious?"

"I-I wasn't!"

"You just said you were."

"You're putting words in my mou—"

"Oi."

Hinata grabbed Kageyama's wrist to push his hand away. "Okay okay!" He massaged his cheeks with both hands, before scowling at the taller boy, a faint flush spreading across his nose. "I just didn't know you were popular and I wanted to kind of know what it was like." He pouted, mumbling under his breath, "Tall guys get everything."

Kageyama ignored the latter, focusing in on Hinata's other words. "Know what what was like?"

"You're really mean! Are you really going to make me say it?" He glared again, but it was half-hearted, tinged by embarrassment. He spoke in a low whisper, as if just saying the words was painful, "What getting confessed to is like." He suddenly hopped, whacking Kageyama on the head. "Don't tell anyone I just told you that! I don't want anyone to know!"

Kageyama frowned, swiping away the beatings. "Why would I tell anyone? That's a good thing."

"How's it a good thing?" He seemed truly confused by this, his jaw dropping open.

Kageyama shrugged, trying to keep his heart from singing. "It's tedious."

"You! You moron! Confessions are the best! You don't deserve to be popular! Give it to me—give it!"

"Cut it out, stupid!" Kageyama had to fend off Hinata's attacks again, nearly falling over in the process. "You're not even right."

Hinata was hardly listening, intent on making Kageyama pay. "Not even right about what?" he grumbled, swiping ineffectively.

"You have gotten a confession."

"Eh?" Abruptly he stopped, one hand drawn back mid-swing. "From who?"

Kageyama straightened out his clothes and a tiny voice in the back of his head whispered, _so much for resolutions. _He gave Hinata a sidelong glance. "From me."


	5. Chapter 5

**sorry, i've been busy since i got back home from break, with school starting and all that shits. **

**i've got a pretty busy schedule ahead of me, so i can't upload every few days like i have been. but have no fear, i am in too deep to give up now. **

**in fact, i'm probably going to start a series of one-shots featuring all sorts of pairings. if you guys have requests, shoot me pms or leave reviews so i can start on those. ;d**

* * *

There was something to be said for resolutions and those who could keep them. Admirable was one word for it, impossible was another. That said, Kageyama was suddenly coming to terms with this sadistic side of himself; the one that took a little pleasure in watching Hinata's expression change because he had been the one to do it.

"Pfft." Hinata pressed a hand to his lips, trying to keep from laughing. "Kageyama, that's a tasteless joke."

_Is it?_ It was annoying, more than anything. These feelings that came up whenever Hinata entered the frame. He looked at the ground.

Hinata clutched his stomach. "I'm only going to fall for that so many times, you know." He lunged forward, smacking Kageyama in the side.

"How many times?" He was, for some reason, fascinated with the ground right now.

"Huh?" Hinata was still giggling, but he straightened a bit, wiping an eye with a finger. "What do you mean?"

"How many more times will you fall for it?" He looked up, meeting Hinata's eye.

"Huh?" he repeated, no longer laughing. He tilted his head curiously.

Kageyama could feel the last of his resolution floating away in the breeze. "I'm serious. I'm serious. I like you. It's not a joke."

Hinata's hand fell from his sleeve and Kageyama took the opportunity to put some distance between them, avoiding another barrage of hits.

He needn't have bothered. Hinata's face was slack. But he followed Kageyama dutifully back towards the gym.

It was cold, his breath misting in front of him, but Hinata didn't seem to notice. He was watching the ground, brow pinched ever so slightly. If anything, that was the only way Kageyama knew Hinata heard him.

The team's squeaking shoes could be heard outside the window and there Kageyama stopped, pausing to confront the issue before they were forced to go in and face everyone.

"Hinata," he began. To his credit, the shorter boy didn't flinch. But he raised his eyes meekly, mouth twisted into a little pout. "It's not important what you say. I was just telling you—I mean, I only thought about it last night and…" He found his voice suddenly weak, reminded by what he had done last night. He fought back the blush that was quickly rising up his throat. "Well it's not important. So don't worry about it."

He turned to head back inside, but then a hand was grabbing his clothes and holding him in place.

"What?" He frowned at the hand on the hem of his shirt, and frowned at the expression on Hinata's face. Why did he still look so sad? Was a confession that bad? Had he done something so terrible as to warrant that kicked puppy look?

Hinata pinched Kageyama's shirt tighter. "If—If that's true, then why did you say it?"

"Hmmm? Why?" Kageyama echoed, brow furrowing. "Why shouldn't I say it?"

"B-but this morning you said it was just friendly kind s-so what does that mean?"

"I didn't say that."

"You did! On the way to school!"

"You decided that yourself."

"Then how come…how come you didn't say anything?"

Kageyama hummed again, trying to think. On the bike, it hadn't been that he didn't want to correct him; there was just something stopping him from doing so. What had that been? Rather than a discernable thought, it had been more like… "A feeling?" he mused aloud.

"Feeling?"

Kageyama leaned on his crutches, resting his leg. He shrugged, "Feeling like…'it's good the way things are now'. Something like that, probably." He didn't understand it perfectly and he had the feeling that trying to understand it was simply a waste of time. Thinking was never his strong point; not unless it had to do with volleyball. Besides, thinking just reminded him of things that had already happened and he wasn't entirely willing to do that. Especially not ten feet away from the senpai and Tsukishima.

Hinata was making the face he made when he was confronted with a literature question: staring so hard at nothing it seemed as if his head would explode.

"Oi." He scratched his cheek, propping the crutches back under his arms. "Like I said, there's no point in getting worried about it. It's not like I always liked you or something."

_Always. _The girl from a few minutes before had said that and Kageyama couldn't help but imagine what that was like. She had always been watching him, she said and Kageyama wondered at that.

The first time he had seen Hinata was a year ago, back when he was in Kitagawa Daiichi. And ever since then, it was hard not to watch the orange-haired boy play on the court. How could anyone _not_ watch Hinata, was the better question. That wasn't the same as 'always', was it?

"Is that…" Hinata chewed his lip, speaking softly, "Does that mean it's still…'like'?"

"Huh?"

"If it's only one day, does that mean it's still…real?" He blushed, turning bright red.

For some reason, Hinata's embarrassed face made Kageyama feel flustered. "H-how am I supposed to know?" he snapped back more angrily than he intended.

"Then…then can I say it counts?"

"What counts?"

"Your…_confession_."

Kageyama felt his face grow so hot snow might have steamed on his cheeks. Hinata was looking up at him through a fringe of orange hair, his expression a mix of something between fear and hope. He didn't know what he said, but a second later Hinata's face changed, brightening so quick it was like staring right at the sun. He must've said the right thing he figured, suddenly warm all the way to his toes.

The smaller boy smiled shyly and in a soft voice, murmured, "Thanks, Kageyama."

Hinata smothered the smile quickly, but Kageyama had seen it already. Butterflies were dancing around his stomach, making it somewhat hard to think straight. "Uhh," he intoned until he found his voice, "Should we go inside?"

"Oh, yeah, don't wanna make Captain mad." Hinata scurried around him and hopped up the steps. Kageyama watched him go, his heart skipping a beat at the second smile thrown in his direction just before Hinata disappeared through the doors.

In slow motion, Kageyama removed his crutches, leaning them against the building. He did the same, his palms pressed against the wall. Then he crumpled, covering his head with his arms to block out the world.

"Oh shit," he mumbled. "Oh shit, shit, shit."

_I'm in deep._

* * *

"Alright—that's enough for today!" Ukai-sensei stepped on the line, clapping his hands together.

Gasping for breath and jostling each other for water, they gathered, sweaty and breathing hard from their ending laps around the court. Kageyama helped pass out the bottles from where he sat, mostly chucking them at whoever made eye contact with him until there were no more within arm's reach.

"Have a seat," Ukai-sensei said, and waited until the team obliged, leaving only he, Take-sensei, and Daichi standing. Kageyama scooted closer, finding himself between Ennoshita-senpai and Suga-senpai. His eyes automatically found Hinata, sitting at the other end beside Tsukishima. Ukai-sensei waited until everyone had quieted down before he nodded, turning to Daichi. "Captain, would you like to explain?"

"Ah, sure, thank you." Daichi stepped forward and cleared his throat. "So Coach and I have been talking about what else we can do to train. We have the tournament coming up in two months and we want to be ready. So—" He took a deep breath here and the team collectively did the same. "—we're planning to have a training camp during winter break." He flinched as the team erupted into noise, Tanaka the loudest with Nishinoya a close second.

Take-sensei stepped forward, but he waited until Tanaka put his shirt back on before he started talking. "I've also asked Ukai-sensei and Sawamura-kun to reduce practice hours beginning Monday. I'm sure I don't need to remind you all, but…exams are to begin next week."

A silence descended that was cold enough to freeze hearts.

Their captain tsked, "You were all told that grades are…equally as important"—"We heard you stutter, Daichi," Suga piped up teasingly—"as club activities, so if any of you fail you won't be allowed on the trip and will instead be forced to take remedial classes during the break."

Tsukishima snorted, "Oh, guess we won't be seeing much of the Oddball duo. Santa really does exist."

Yamaguchi snickered at that. "On the naughty list."

Nishinoya and Tanaka were also uncharacteristically silent, but Hinata complained aloud, denying their claims. "I'm not worried!" he declared, "Kageyama and I are going to pass everything, right?"

When no response came, Tsukishima laughed all the harder. Suga-senpai nudged Kageyama in the side. "Go on, Kageyama, stand up for yourself." He grinned.

Kageyama just nodded weakly, hardly even listening to be honest. He eyed his bandaged foot. Grades were one thing—a whole other realm of problems—but he was still feeling nauseous about the training camp announcement in the first place. Would his foot be healed in time? What if it wasn't? What if he let the team down because he couldn't train? What if they lost because of him?

Worse yet, what if they won without him?

He tuned back in just in time to hear Ukai-sensei dismissing them for the day. He clambered back onto his feet and stuffed the crutches under his arm, staying in place to avoid getting in anyone's way as they separated to clean up the gym.

Hinata was with Nishinoya-senpai, their heads bowed together gravely in the corner. Hinata looked wobbly, the same way he always did before a game. Frowning, Kageyama was just about to head over and knock some sense into him when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

He turned and came face to face with a grinning Sugawara. "Kageyama."

"Yeah?"

"Wanna help me gather balls?"

"Uh, o-osu."

Suga smiled, clapping Kageyama on the back. "Kay, just catch the ones I toss." He jogged off, sending the volleyball cart back towards Kageyama, and then picking up balls and tossing them over. With one hand, Kageyama caught the balls Sugawara tossed over, dropping them into the ballcart. They continued in silence until half of the court was clear, then Sugawara returned to help with the cart as they made their way to the other side. Kageyama was just about to ask what Sugawara-senpai wanted, when Sugawara spoke up.

"How're your grades?" He laughed at Kageyama's face, "That bad huh? Well, we'll help you out. Take-sensei had mentioned your foot will heal in a week or two. Just take care of it and maybe you can play at camp."

Just like that, the weight lifted off Kageyama's shoulders. "Osu!" He replied, more strongly this time. His grades would need some work he supposed, but they couldn't be as bad as Tanaka-senpai's and Noya-senpai's grades. They had managed during summer after all, he could do it again.

"So, you and Hinata, huh?" Suga hummed aloud.

"Huh?"

"Are you going out?"

One of Kageyama's crutches slipped—he just barely caught himself against the wall as the crutch clattered to the ground. Suga chuckled, picking it up and handing it back. Kageyama was speechless. He didn't even know what sort of face he was supposed to be making. "You should be more careful about talking right outside the door. Oh, but don't worry, only I heard. Well and Daichi, but he doesn't really count. Also Asahi…but we'll keep him quiet. Kageyama-! Hold on a sec, don't try to escape!"

Kageyama glanced across the gym, where Hinata was cheering about something or other with Nishinoya now. They were laughing about something and Kageyama's stomach gave a little flip.

Suga caught his glance and seemed to discern something from it. He nodded slowly, tilting his head thoughtfully at the dark-haired boy.

Kageyama flushed under that gaze, looking at the ground instead. "We're not…"

"Oh really?"

"…What about it?" He felt somewhat like the ground were slipping beneath his feet, like he was going somewhere with no return. Sugawara-senpai's face was as gentle and innocent as ever though.

"About you and Hinata?" Suga seemed surprised, "It's great, of course!"

Of all the answers, that wasn't one that had crossed Kageyama's mind. He expected some sort of disapproval, maybe disgust even. Before he could frame such sentiments into a reply, Sugawara continued, "For some reason, you two really match, huh? Daichi thinks so too, though he did say he didn't want that to get in the way of volleyball."

"Of course not!" The very thought was blasphemous!

He snickered, "That's what I told him. See? So there's no problem, is there?" Kageyama must have made a face. "Ohh, so there is a problem? What is it?"

Kageyama made a petulant face, which elicited another laugh from Suga-senpai. He blushed faintly, trying to smooth his expression into something more aloof, less disgruntled. "It's not…like that."

"What's it like?"

Kageyama flushed, rubbing the back of his head in a bid for time. Sugawara was staring at him expecting an answer and all Kageyama could think of was the way Hinata's smiles made him feel. He hadn't thought much past that point. "It's just feelings," he finally said, "It's not like anything will happen."

Sugawara hummed at that, bending down to scoop up a ball. He was doing nearly all the work now; Kageyama was having trouble just keeping up and focusing his thoughts. "You want something to happen?"

"'Something'?" he echoed, mystified.

"Oh you know," Suga waved a hand in the air, "Walk home together after school, share lunch breaks, go on dates."

"Not really?" Kageyama replied and decided that was true.

"Because volleyball comes first," Suga finished, reading his kouhai's thoughts.

The dark-haired boy nodded, fumbling the last ball as Suga tossed it in his direction. He placed it carefully on the stack they had created. Besides, they pretty much did that stuff already, didn't they? Apart from dates, but Kageyama figured that the weekends they met to practice volleyball were largely what they'd do on dates anyway.

Suga took over the cart, pushing it in front of them as they headed back towards the storage room. "You know, what happens if Hinata likes you back?"

Kageyama nearly lost his balance again. "Like me?" The thought hadn't even crossed his mind, to be utterly serious.

Suga gave a sigh that was a mix between laughter and exasperation. "Don't tell me something silly, like you haven't even thought that far."

The look on Kageyama's face was reply enough.

"Oh dear." Suga sighed, stopping the cart and turning to face Kageyama seriously. "I don't mean to get involved, but now that you've confessed your feelings, you have to take responsibility for them. It's not just your secret anymore, you know what I'm saying?"

Kageyama shook his head and Suga pressed his palm against his forehead, making his bangs fluff up.

"What I mean," he continued, "is that you've got to think about what Hinata wants now also. Umm…well think of it like this. Imagine you're a spiker—"

"I'm a setter."

"—Yes, I know," Suga responded patiently, smoothly, "but imagine if you're a spiker. Just imagine it, okay Kageyama? This is an order from your sempai. Okay, good. Now since you're a spiker, you can score points, right? Say the ball are your feelings. But look, once you spike, you also have to expect a response from the other team. They might receive it, or block it. You have to be ready for that. Volleyball isn't just a one-way sport."

"So you're saying, Hinata might receive it or block it."

"Er…"

"Or they might spike it back."

"I suppose that's true. What would you want to happen?"

"Get a point with my spike," he responded truthfully, and Suga just sighed again.

"Stick to the context, Kageyama. This is about you and Hinata, right?"

But now Kageyama was confused. Of course he'd rather had a kill point, but he sensed Suga's sigh indicated that was the wrong answer. He thought about it in silence, distracted momentarily as Hinata walked by, the mop swung over his shoulder. Their gazes met and Hinata grinned, his cheeks reddening for a moment. "Maybe…if they send it back to me…that would not be bad."

He glanced sidelong at Sugawara, who was grinning in an uncomfortably pleased way. "Well, now you know what you want."

"But…" Kageyama glanced again in Hinata's direction, "if they 'spike' it back, then no one wins the game." Keeping to the volleyball analogy was difficult. It denied everything he knew about volleyball, though a vague part of him understood the point Sugawara-senpai was trying to make.

The other boy grinned widely, hands on hips. "That's the thing," he punched Kageyama in the shoulder lightly. "Some games don't have to do with winning at all."

* * *

"It's not the same when you're not playing," Hinata complained, blowing on his fingers one at a time. His bike rattled noisily between them, every bump making the little bell on the handlebars chime softly.

Kageyama didn't reply, fishing in his pocket for coins. He stopped at a vending machine, shoving in his coins as Hinata continued to talk behind him. He jabbed the button with two fingers, tsking under his breath as only one came out. Collecting his change and the carton of milk, he poked a hole with the straw and threw the rubbish away into the nearby can. He leaned against the vending machine, slurping noisily.

"I want your foot to get better already!"

In a few seconds, his milk was gone and he was sucking noisily at air. "Suga-senpai's good at tossing too though."

Hinata sighed, "Yeah, but I want to hit the King's Toss!"

Kageyama struck out with his crutch, but the bike got in the way. "Don't call it that!"

Hinata pretended not to hear, covering the chime on his bike with his hand and ringing it. It made a dull vibrating sound against his fingers.

"Are you staying over again?" Kageyama crumpled up the empty carton, chucking it in the trash. He readjusted the crutches beneath his arms.

"Oh yeah. I called my mom, she said I can stay over as long as it's okay with your parents."

Kageyama thought about the giant empty house waiting for him. Weekends were the loneliest. "Yeah, it's fine," he answered, and Hinata grinned.

"Okay, then! I'll be back after I go home." He checked the time. "Give me two hours."

"One." Kageyama straightened up, fixing his bag on his back. "One hour."

Hinata blinked, then jolted upright. Kageyama knew the look of competition when he saw it. _What was I expecting? _

"You're on! One hour!" He hopped on his bike and was just about to leave when Kageyama reached out to grab the strap of his bag. "Whoa-oh!" The bike nearly flipped over and Kageyama released him quickly. "Jeez, Kageyama! What are you doing?"

He thought about what Sugawara-senpai had said. _Not all games are about winning._ He cleared his throat, meeting Hinata's eye. "I lied, earlier."

"Lied about what?" Hinata gasped in dismay, "It's not okay to sleep over?"

Kageyama chose to ignore that, though he felt another thread of patience snap. He gathered himself. "My confession. I don't want you to forget it. Don't…don't forget about it."

"Why would I forget it? You said it counts, right?"

"I want—" and his throat was suddenly so dry, "—an answer. I'm serious about you so…so I'll wait for your answer." Hinata's expression was changing again, but Kageyama didn't look long enough to find out what face he was making. He gave Hinata's bike a push to get him started, avoiding making eye contact. "One hour," he repeated. "I'll be waiting."


End file.
